Too Bad You’re Beautiful. 10 -

Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It’s that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I’ll never have… I’ll never have… I’ll never… Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in… standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in… But this table for one has become bearable. I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you. Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It’s that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. And you let this one person come down…come down…I cherish you…I cherish you. Just say that you would do the same for me…

Why am I the way I am? I’m so lonely, but I don’t have to be. I want what I can’t have.

Of all the gin joints in all the world.

Why mine?

What is it about human nature that makes us want what we can’t have?

Is it the need to fulfill some subconscious desire to win?

You can have something perfectly fine right in front of you, but 8 times out of 10, you don’t want it.

Why? Is it too easy?

I’ll never understand. I’ve always wanted what I can’t have, or what it seems that I can’t have.

That’s not always a bad thing either. Sometimes, it makes you push for better things, try to achieve something more.

But it hurts, like hell. The fight is never easy, and rarely over with quickly. It’s exhausting, depressing, and it wears you down mentally.

There’s so many things I’ve left behind in my life chasing the grass on the other side, that sometimes I’ve never even reached.

Other times, I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted, and put up one hell of a fight to get it.

I’ve lost people because I’ve had too much pride to admit my mistakes, and I’ve lost people because I have too much pride to try again if I’m shot down the first time.

And sometimes, it’s just not worth it, but you don’t know until much later. Those are the ones that hurt the most.

To put all of your heart and fight into something that was never meant to happen from the start.

Sometimes you get strung along, used, and torn. All with the illusion that your pain will pay off in the end, but in the end, you’re left for dead.

Most of the time, the person hurting you is completely oblivious to the situation, and it some rare cases, they know how you feel, and just don’t care.

Sometimes it’s all a game to them. They’ll move on with life, and be happy and have what they want, and never look back to see the trail they’ve left behind.

“You’ll forget us, but we’ll never for get you.” It’s sad, really. It happens too much for our hearts to handle.

As I get older, I find that I can’t break my habits, but it gives me some solace, I guess, knowing that apparently it’s all just “human nature”.

Apparently there’s a unrelenting fight in us. Weather it be a good fight or a bad one, it’s still a fight, and that just means that we care.

And I would rather care about something than nothing at all.

Sometimes you get what you want,

And sometimes, there’s that bird you just can’t catch.